'I'm a Barbie girl/in the Barbie world/Life in plastic, it's fantastic/You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.' Uh-huh. 'Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take ya/Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama/Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go, Jamaica.' Not only one of the worst written songs ever just one of the worst songs ever period.Ĭited by multiple people, and with good reason. 'There's no love/Like your love/And no other could give more love.' Really, couldn't find anything that rhymed with love?Įverything about this song is criminal, from the awful melody to the insipid lyrics. And this one, from the Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves film, is up there with the worst of them. But he's also written some of the cheesiest, schmaltziest stuff ever recorded by man. And this couplet, coupled with Chad Kroeger's deep, booming, 'I am an artist,' vocal, just lends itself to be made fun of.īryan Adams has written some great songs, 'Summer Of '69,' 'Cuts Like A Knife,' the whole Reckless album was strong. The song opens, 'Never made it as a wise man/I couldn't cut it as a blind man stealing/Tired of living like a blind man/I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling.' One of the surest ways to write a bad lyric is to take yourself too damn seriously. 'Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets/Call me Willy Whistle 'cause I can't speak, baby/Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy/Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad.' Billy Shakespeare would roll over in his grave at being cited in this pop insanity. One of the worst songs of the '90s, and that is saying something, this pop fluff had some of the most insipid lyrics ever. Sometimes lines just tell you the truth: 'Chosen one, I'm the living proof/With the gift of gab from the city of truth/I jabbed and stabbed and knocked critics back/Īnd I did not stutter.' What more can be said? And in some of the worst-written songs of all time this might be the worst line of all: 'Daddy says she's too young/But she's old enough for me.' Just shut the hell up. There is a special place in musical hell for hair metal. 'The way she fit in them blue jeans/She don't need no belt/But I can turn 'em inside out/I don't need no help/Got hips like honey/So thick and so sweet (Man)/Ain't no curves like hers/On them downtown streets.' And that might not even be the worst line in this. How, how, how in the freaking world did this second-rate 'Your Body Is A Wonderland' get nominated at the CMA's for Song Of The Year, which is a songwriter's award? This shouldn't even be nominated for a middle school poetry award let alone a major songwriters award. Many people loved this song, despite such deep lyrics as, 'Hot as a fever/Rattling bones/I could just taste it/Chased it.' Or this literary masterpiece? 'Soft lips are open/Them knuckles are pale/Feels like you're dying/You're dying.' But, in my humble opinion, one of the worst songs of all time and one of the worst written. Here is a perfect example of the subjectivity of music. 'Yeah, you got that yummy-yum/that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy.' Someone got paid for that?! And what about this gem of a line? 'Bona fide stallion/Ain't in no stable, no, you stay on the run.'

I know this was supposed to be edgy, but you can totally picture a five-year-old on the playground singing this. But that does not make this inanity of this song forgivable.

I have nothing against the Biebs and as someone who's seen firsthand the tremendous strain fame can put on people, as a human I am very happy to see Bieber seemingly together in life.

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